Heated Rivalry Episode 2 Deep Dive

 Episode 2: Olympians

We start of with these fabulous parallel shots of them over the summer, so far apart but still mirroring each other.

And most of the shots in this montage are repeated, showing them getting more attached to their phones doing all these activities. Both of them waiting for the next text constantly.

They left on such a hostile note but they already like each other so much it doesn't even matter. I mean look at them, giggling it up.

The montages in this show are so good at giving us these little snippets of these character that mean so much. Shane just scored a goal in a game against Ilya and all he can do is trail after him, dead armed while gazing at him. ILYA, GET UP!!!

And it's the same for Shane, looking for Ilya wherever he can. They are currently playing against each other, and Shane is still trying to sneak a glance while they're both on the bench. SHANE, GET UP!!!

I love that this is just Ilya telling Shane what he wants. When they exchanged numbers in the first episode, Ilya immediately assumes that there will be a next time and that Shane also wants to fuck. And he does but he just can't let himself admit that. So he avoids Ilya's very forward texts about it.

Ilya texting Shane like this, throwing himself at Shane, he's laying out for him that he wants this. And Shane trying to pretend like he doesn't, isn't gonna stop Ilya from wanting it.

Oh my god, Ilya is so down bad, it's crazy. CHILL BRO!

Look at him, watching Ilya's game and texting him afterwards. These two bitches are already so wound up about each other, it is insane to me that they, at any point, thought this was casual.

They just like each other so much already. 

Again, I think Ilya can see through Shane like no one else can. He's being relentless because he knows that Shane being shifty about this isn't rejection, it's Shane trying to convince himself it's something he can go without, something he can stop himself from wanting.

I love this little moment here, Shane's nervous lil eyes darting around trying to figure out, How the fuck did you know that was my plan for tonight??

All jokes aside, in this moment, Shane's biggest nightmare has come true. Somehow, his team have found out, not only that he's gay, but that he wants Ilya, that he wants in that way at all.

I don't care what anyone says, Shane is funny. And I like the banter that he has with Hayden.

I appreciate this scene establishing that Shane has grown closer to his team mates. He has easy conversation with most of the people we see in this scene. Despite being called "not the most sociable" in his rookie year, he's obviously grown close to them enough to captain them.

Ilya Rozanov you are a bold man. 

I like how Shane typing and retyping shows how he's reacting in these moments where he can't do it out loud. We see it more later on, but it's just a great way for us to be inside his head during these very secretive, internal moments.

Ilya is holding onto every word from Shane. They are about to play against each other and this man is head down, waiting for a text from a man that he's meant to be casual about. Yeah right.

Again, I like the camaraderie these boys have.

All I can think about though, during these shots switching between Ilya's locker room and Shane's, is that it's showing us what these characters could lose. Yes, these guys have good fun ribbing each other, but Shane and Ilya's anxiety around being outed doesn't come from nowhere. This light friendship could very easily switch to heavy loathing.

A lot of people view Shane as the more docile or tame one, but he is a bitch. And he has a potty mouth too. He will cuss you out and say fuck you for texting him, even though he texted Ilya back.

"You missed me, didn't you?"

Ilya says this as a joke, but I think he's using that to say how he really feels. He's spent the last 2 years trying to get this guy to meet up and fuck, and he's finally getting it. But more than anything, he's missed Shane, and that can't be replaced by fucking someone else.

They are so competitive, god damn. They are so fond of each other, it MAKES ME SICKKK.

I love their little matching feet here, idk it's cute. This whole episode (We're 8 minutes in lol), all I can thing is I can't believe either of them thought this was casual!

This is also another scene where I can see Shane's pre-planned scripting kicking in. It's this awkward in between moment, halfway between letting Ilya into his apartment and actually getting to the fucking, and all Shane's thinking is How do I get from Point A to Point B?? What am I supposed to say? And then Ilya say "wow, nice place" and Shane's like I know what I'm meant to say now, and immediately starts talking about his real estate plans. 

"You asked." "No I didn't."

And with that Ilya cuts out this thing that Shane uses to hide from people, he stops it there, looking in Shane's eyes and saying, I know what you are, I know what this is, and most importantly, I know you're nervousssss.

But because he can see what Shane wants, he has since the beginning, he gives it to him. And then he cracks a joke to snap Shane out of his nervousness. Offers himself up on a silver platter, "Where do you want me?", showing Shane that they both want this just a much as the other.

They are so open with each other in this scene. Yeah it's just little digs at each other about superficial bullshit, the pillows, Ilya smoking, but it's still so light and easy. They like each other.

"You come here." "No, you come here."

Are you KIDDING ME, SHUT THE FUCK UP!! BOTH OF YOUUUU.

They're practically eating each other this whole scene (Ilya especially, lol).

I love how this scene is shot. Even though it's meant to be "just" sex between these two, this scene is shot so intimately. It's all these close up shots of them with their faces inches from each other. And there's this soft light behind them so they're kinda shrouded in darkness. 

Ilya's constant "Still ok?" Is so endearing, I love him so much.

Also, there's this one moment where Ilya asks Shane again, if it's still ok, and Shane kinda just scoffs and doesn't answer him. What he does do, is say "Jesus Christ" and push back into him. This is one of the first times we see Shane want something and take it. He wants it so bad and Ilya is right there and he's waiting, to what? Ask if Shane still wants it? And Shane's just like, Isn't it obvious?? Have I not shown you my deepest secret by telling you I want this??

Shane in his cozy lil hoodie, cuddling Ilya's jacket in his lap. I'M SICK, I'M SICK HE'S JUST A BABY!

Oh God, they're talking about Russia again. Shane's all oblivious about what he's bringing up for Ilya and Ilya's acting as if his family is fun to talk about. 

"Dreaming of what? Bronze medal?" "You fuckin' wish dude." 

They like each other so much, I can't take it.

This is casual to them? This?? Ok. Sure. Whatever.

"What an embarrassing end to a promising year for the Russian men's hockey team. A hard pill to swallow on home ice and especially for young phenom, Ilya Rozanov."

Man in the Crease nameless Podcast Hosts I hope you die!

What a punch in the face for him the moment he's back in Russia. If being berated by your father and brother isn't enough, now strangers are basically calling you a disappointment. 

Shane and his Blackberry Classic and his wired headphones and his Canada fleece, regretting texting his casual hook up to ask if he's doing ok while they're both in Homophobic Russia. 

"You'll look great in silver Vaughny, don't even stress."

Once again, Shane is funny and he's a bitch and I love him. 

Carter has no idea he's sat at the gay boys table.

This tiny 58 seconds scene of just dialogue between these characters is so good at showing a lot with a little. 

This is what it tells us:

1. Carter has never (knowingly) been around a gay person ever, cause why the fuck does he talk about gay people like we are a breed of rare parrot.

2. Shane has no gaydar. Shane is so repressed and spends so much of his time avoiding gayness, that when Carter suggests that his friend is gay, he is genuinely taken aback. 

3. Scott is gay. 

4. Shane has no idea Scott is gay. The moment anything gay is brought up, both these guys are fidgeting and have there eyes down. They're both giving of the strongest don't notice me energy immediately.

5. Shane is back to worrying about Ilya, this time with a slightly different gaze. What if my stupid text put him in danger?

He's never looked more emo ever.

Also when Shane sees him up there, he gets up from his seat so fast that you hear it hit the back of the seat. CHILL BRO!

It cuts to Ilya again, and he immediately gets a text from his brother. It's like everything that is a negative trigger for Ilya is happening all at once and then here comes Shane going "Hey ☺️🙂" 

Shane is so unguarded in this scene. He's so used to Ilya, despite always teasing him, being nice to him. Even though Ilya makes jokes and showboats, he always humours Shane and sincerely answers all his obtuse questions.

Which I think is why Shane is so hurt by Ilya giving him the cold shoulder. To Shane, who Ilya has only ever been lovely to, this isn't just Ilya being indifferent, but being mean. He knows they can't be seen together, he knows that Russia is not the place to do this, he knows he shouldn't go see Ilya, but he's just trying to be nice. They've shared this secret with each other, the only time Shane can be himself is with Ilya, and now he's denying Shane the relief of dropping that mask. So, what the fuck Ilya??

Oh my god, Ilya's dad is such a fucking ASSHOLE in this scene. It's also a great little snippet of the specific way he chooses to punish Ilya for what he deems as failures.

Everything Ilya does, each decision he makes in this scene, is the wrong one, according to his father.

This scene opens with Grigori pouring them both a drink and handing Ilya's to him. The moment Ilya drinks it, his father reprimands him for it. Ilya says it would be his honour to meet the minister, Grigori tells him he should be, as if he isn't worth the ministers time. Especially after loosing to Latvia, as if he, alone, could have won the game, as if he decided to loose. He asks "How are you not ashamed?" And when Ilya says he is, he says "Not nearly enough." As if Ilya should, I don't know, dig his own grave and lay in it, for deciding to be such a failure.

Ilya's blank face during this whole thing is so sad. That's not something you just do. You learn how to keep your face as neutral as possible, even when someone you love is berating you. That is something you learn to do.

Even when he pushes back against his father, his voice is monotone and his face is neutral. He gives nothing to his father to use against him.

And then, when Grigori stops, looks down to Ilya's bowtie and takes a half step forward to fix it, Ilya has this little moment of confusion. Hesitation. He has no idea what his father's going to do next. And he does this thing where he squares his shoulders, and blinks, and starts to lean away. He may be taller than Grigori now, stronger, younger. But that's still his father, a man who, for most of Ilya's life, was bigger and stronger than him. 

Oh my god, and then he brings up Ilya's mother. And we see Ilya's little eye bouncing again. He's trying to figure out if this is genuine confusion from his dad, or a trick to hurt him more. He has to do this balancing act of, Don't piss off dad and Make sure dad is Ok. 

Dissociation King.

They're talking about the Russian team's loss, and the minister is talking about the goalie being slow, and other players being out, and how it all lead to the loss. All the while, Grigori is nodding along, agreeing with him, and then he decides to turn the conversation around and say really the problem is leadership. Oh ok.

And then Svetlana comes and pulls Ilya out of it. Thank you Svetlana, we all say.

Oh god, I know an evil gay when I see one.

Svetlana is here to cut to the chase and also know everything.

"Your father is an asshole who would punish you either way. You need to stop giving a fuck what he thinks."

Oh, this is such a revealing line. We know already that Ilya uses his ego and reputation as a cover. But this line makes it obvious how much it is a cover, how much it isn't real. His father might be an asshole, but Ilya still cares about what he thinks. Still wants to make him proud. Even if Grigori makes that impossible.

Ilya is such a brick wall in the scene with Sacha. Not letting anything in. 

But even though he's saying no to Sacha and his many attempts to get Ilya to open up, he's still kind to him. He may be saying no, but it's with a gentle hand pushing away, soft words, "nice to see you, Sacha" as goodbye. He doesn't hate Sacha, or want to hurt him. He just simply doesn't want to deal with everything that being around Sacha means for him.

I love this tiny moment where Jackie says "What am I supposed to do with this?" And Shane says "I don't know, my mum told me to get wine."

Shane you are so precious to me, I love you. Again, he's in a situation he's never been in before and he leans on the reliance of what you're meant to do. Never show up empty handed. Bring wine. Even though they just had another baby (right? I can't remember).

One of my favourite shots of Ilya on the ice. Knocking into someone and immediately eating shit into the ice. lol.

I can't believe locker room speeches are a real thing that really happens. Girl, why are you screaming at me?

I know Marleau wanted that cookie real bad.

He's so Shanebug in this shot. 

"You hate Rozanov." "Of course."

Of course. Of course. What an answer. That feels so loaded to me. The hate is integral. It's obvious. It's built in. There's no stopping it. There's no other way. It's inevitable. Structural.

He's Shane Hollander. He loves hockey. He hates Ilya Rozanov. It all means the same. The hate is part of the hockey. It must be part of Shane. That's how it works.

And it's this other part too, when JJ says "That animal, shit show, cock sucking, Russian." They hate Rozanov. So he's a shit show. So he's a cock sucker. They hate him and so he's a cock sucker. A fag, whatever you wanna call it. They hate him so he is what you hate. It's all the same. 

And no one blinks an eye. It just is what it is.

He does so much with his eyes. All this going on around him and he can't look away from Ilya winning the cup. 

This, to me, is so representative of the difference Shane feels when he's with Ilya.

He spends all his time with his teammates. Hockey is his life, his career. These are his friends, he knows their wives, their kids. Everything. But he's sat here, surrounded by all of that and he's still othered. And they don't even know. The guy who he's supposed to hate, has been more accepting and gentle with him than the people who are meant to be his family. He's only spent a couple nights with Ilya, and whether he knows it or not, he's happier for Ilya winning than he is sad to lose to him.

"I was busy." "With who?" 

Why Shane, are you jealous?

Shane is so monotone, I love him.

Also Ilya, any time he has the opportunity to play nice with Shane in public, he takes it and milks it as much as he can. He's up on that stage, showing us all 32 teeth, so happy to be this close to Shane in front of people.

Hand on the back of the neck is CRAZY.

This is even crazier. Last time they spoke to each other, Ilya basically told Shane to fuck off and now he's psychologically torturing Shane on stage with the bright lights in his face. No wonder Shane freaks the fuck out.

There is a great irony in the fact they're presenting Most Sportsman Like Player. I know that's the point, but still.

Shane's so overwhelmed by the fact that Ilya can still get to him. Even just from that little touch on stage. 

I love this little hesitation before he looks at Ilya. He's bracing for Ilya to be cold again. To be alone together and have Ilya deny him of what he wants. He's gonna have to see Ilya and want, desperately, but not get it.

Ilya Rozanov you are brave. You haven't spoken to this man since Russia, where you told him to go away and now you're here wanting to go back to how you were before. Ok. Sure.

And Shane basically says that to him. It all spills out of him in one. What the fuck, the last Shane knew, Ilya wanted him gone. He was mean and he said go away. It sounds juvenile written plainly. But the thing is, they don't hate each other. Everyone else might think that, but when they're alone, it's the only time they don't have to pretend. So yeah, What the fuck Ilya??

"I want you to suck my dick." 

And that is what he wants. He's saying, in his own stupid way, I want to go back to how it was before. I want you to stop pretending you don't want this too. 

And it's automatic, how Shane reacts, he says it without thinking. "You suck my dick." He doesn't really mean it, it's more him saying Fuck you, than anything else. But then Ilya, once again, sees through him. Hears what he's saying through all this anger, Why won't you give me what I want? Hears what he's not saying, Please give me what I can't ask for.

Ilya steps closer, gets in Shane's space, puts his hand on his face. And he's giving Shane what he wants. And Shane just melts. Like he's been tense since Russia and only now can he finally unclench.

And again, even though Ilya's been an asshole constantly, Shane wants this so bad that he throws all that anger away instantly. 

They are so enamoured by each other, constantly pulled together by their need for each other.

I feel SICK. Shanebug I love you so much.

He's so relieved that they've gone back to normal. That's all either of them want. 

"And if you win?"

Shane basically offered himself up on a silver platter to Ilya. I think Shane likes that Ilya can see through him like no one else, I think sometimes Shane gets so caught up in who he's meant to be, that Ilya can see through his mask better than Shane even can. He's saying, You know how bad I want for this, you let me want. Please let me.

He's gone.

Ilya Rozanov you smug bastard.

I think this little stare into space, while Shane is folding his clothes as he undresses, is Ilya realising he's fucked. Shane doing this, folding his clothes, is so Shane, it's unlike anyone else. Nothing else is like this for Ilya. He finds this connection with no one else.

And he can't have this with Shane. Sure, they can fuck, but this thing, what Ilya has started wanting, they can never have. Most evidenced by all of tonight. The only reason they're both here is because the big joke is that they're near each other, the joke is that they would joke about liking each other. Not even that they do, but that they would joke about it. It's so ridiculous to people, it's so impossible. But Ilya still wants that. 

"What?" "It's a lot of windows."

I love this moment so much. Again, even when Ilya's trying to act stoic, he still humours Shane's anxieties. Knows that they are based in real, grounded fear.

This is a testament to how comfortable Ilya makes Shane feel. Even when he's asking Shane to do something outside of his comfort zone, he does it cause he knows Ilya wants it just as bad. 

He's such an asshole. Shane Hollander, you're a better man than me.

"I need you."

I think Shane is so blinded by shame in every other place, that Ilya's blatant desire for him allows him to actually know what he wants. He's never allowed to just outright say what he wants, that when he's with Ilya, it's so unlike anything else.

Ilya's been so guarded this whole time. Not closed off, but guarded. Bracing. He has this big thing hanging over his head, going back to Russia for the summer, what that means, everything that's back there. 

And then Shane goes and brings it up, makes it real. "It's intense there." You're intense there. And Shane asks why he's going back, if he has to, as if it's all that easy. He asks if he even likes it there, as if that matters. As if it's ever mattered, what Ilya wants.

And Ilya says just that, "what difference does it make?" And all I can think about, is that every time they're together, that's all that Ilya cares about. What Shane wants. That shapes all of their interactions. Shane wants, so he gets. Shane doesn't like something, so Ilya fixes it.

Dissociation king once again. 

They're both so miserable again. OH MY GOD JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER. PLEASE!

I feel like, every time they meet up now, Ilya's waiting for Shane to call it off, to say, This is the last time or You'll never see me again once I leave. Like he's shown his true colours in Russia and now Shane will want nothing to do with him. 

This is where we see Shane texting again. It's such a great way to show how he's over thinking every interaction, and all the things he wants to say to Ilya. We didn't even kiss.

I feel like this whole episode, both of them feel like they are wanting for too much. That they can't give over to this desire to give themselves freely to each other. All these meet ups, it's the most they can get from each other, the closest they can get, all their allowed. So they'll take what they can get, and hope the other doesn't reject them, deny them of this ability to be with someone, the only one, who knows them.