Episode 3: Hunter
Ok, so we are back at the gay boys table again. This time we are getting close up shots of Scott. Carter makes his joke about gay athletes having "balls of steel" and we see Scott looking all tense. It's obvious that Scott is uncomfortable with this topic. It's just a little too close to home for him.
Then we cut to four months ago.
Scott's run is insane. Like, why the fuck are you running on the public street like that? If I saw that coming towards me I would think he's running at me.
Ok ok, get serious. We can hear Scott listening to Man in the Crease, they're talking about his performance this season. Despite his crazy run, he's obviously affected by other people's opinions about him and his hockey. He cares about his reputation and how he will be remembered. He wants people to see him as good. Good at hockey. Just good in general.
Don't like that shop name at all.
Again this show is good at being efficient. We know who Kip is almost immediately. He's on screen for about 35 seconds and we already know he's called Kip, he's an art history enthusiast, he's overworked, he's hot, and he's gay as fuck.
This up and down he gives Scott is not subtle at all. Making direct contact with each of Scott's nipples 10 seconds after meeting him is bold for sure.
He wants that cookie real bad.
Watery ass smoothie.
We all must have a friend like Maria who will convince you that every hot man is flirting with you. I know Scott is flirting with him in this scene but that doesn't make a difference to her.
"Look look! He's on the TV right now."
One interaction and Kip already has a raging crush.
We also see on the TV that Scott just scored a goal. Earlier, when we heard Man in the Crease, they mentioned how he was six games in and hadn't scored any points in the season yet. So we can see how Scott's internal struggles about himself and his loneliness have impacted his hockey. Just that small interaction with Kip has broken him out of this spiralling cycle.
Oh my god, he's crushing so hard on him.
There is so much direct, unflinching eye contact with these two.
Also I can't believe they were originally Steve Rogers and Bucky Barns. I mean, I can, but oh my god.
My god these watery smoothies are killing me! Also going on a run with a full smoothie in hand is wackiness I've never seen before.
Oh Shane my baby.
Elena, much like Svetlana last episode, is here to cut to the chase and also know everything.
We also see that in tonight's game he has once again broken out of the slump he was in at the start of the season. It seems his addition of Kip into his pre game routine has helped his hockey.
They're both so happy to see each other again and they're both so smiley. And then Kip turns to make the smoothie and Scott has this little moment where you can see him overthinking everything he's saying. It's so obvious he cares so much about what others think of him. He wants Kip to like him, but he's closed himself off for so long he barely knows how to let himself do it. And now he's here, right in front of Kip and he feels Ike he's fucking it up. And they haven't even done anything yet.
Ok so they're talking about serial killers. Uggghhhh. Whatever, I guess it's cute but I just can't do it.
And then Scott makes a really stealth joke about gay athletes. And I really like how he does it. He says how he knows the stats and how there's two other players on his team who might be but that's off the record. And then he plays it off like he's talking about concussions. It's very much a joke that will go unnoticed unless Kip is gay. He'll only hear what Scott's trying to say if he's the right person to hear it. It's very real. Being closeted and thinking someone might be gay but being too scared to ask so you try and figure it out in the most round about and deniable ways possible just in case they aren't gay.
Then Kip jokes about the play off beards making the players look like hot lumberjacks and Scott kinda freezes. Kip just confirmed what they were both skirting around. Before, Scott had this buffer of plausible deniability that made him brave, but Kip just blasted through all of that trying to make his feeling obvious. And now they're both just confused.
But Scott is brave. And he asks Kip to come to his game tonight. Tells him he's sure. He realises he confused Kip with his own apprehension and amended it by putting his desires on the table.
Elena's having the time of her life right now.
Ilya my baby boy.
"Hey Hunter, too bad you can't play at home every night, right? Is better for you, huh?"
Even though Ilya doesn't know anything about Kip, he somehow still cuts so close to the truth. Scott's at a game in Boston. Even though he barely knows Kip, Scott still feels his absence, can see it plainly through the dip in his performance. At this point, I'd say his acknowledgement of his gayness is directly tied to his perception of his performance on the ice. Cutting himself off from that side of himself has stopped working, he must instead turn and face it head on if he wants to keep up his reputation. Oh, what a paradox.
"Go fuck yourself Rozanov." "Ah is more fun if you're there."
This is such an interesting point of view. We know that Ilya is just talking shit, he's thrown two very vague digs at Scott that he could say to any player who just lost to him. But he's somehow unknowingly joked about Scott playing like shit when he's away from Kip and then also joked about homoerotic threesomes between him and Scott. Ilya, in one, has brought up everything that Scott is scared of people knowing.
It's important to remember that Ilya is known for being a ladies man. Obviously, we know that this part of his reputation is somewhat a cover, but Scott doesn't know that. To Scott, Ilya is his perfect foil. To Scott, Ilya is a loud, sociable hockey player who has open and excessive sexual relations with anyone and everyone he's attracted to. Ilya, with only two little comments, has held up a mirror to Scott, reflecting back the vastness of Scott's loneliness, as well as showing him everything he's missed out on because he isn't who everyone thinks he is.
So it's no surprise when Scott blows up at Shane after their game too. Ilya and Shane, to the outside hockey world, have been pitted against each other from the beginning. You can't start a sentence mentioning one of them before bringing up the other by the end of it. In this moment, Scott isn't just hearing Shane, but what Ilya said as well.
"Hope next time we play, you decide to show up."
All Scott's hearing is that when he's playing like shit, it's like he's not there at all. Who people expect him to be is not what is seen. If he's not keeping up his reputation as Scott Who's Good At Hockey, then is he anyone at all?
No wonder he pulls out the I know you're gay card.
The girls are fighting!
Kip's dad is so lovely and supportive of his gay son.
Of course they've found their way back to each other.
"Please don't fire me." "No one is firing you. Just calm down."
Kip is constantly freaking out about everything. CHILL OUT OH MY GOD.
"Do you like Mexican food?"
Scott, once again being brave and openly wanting for more with Kip.
I like this little moment alone we get with Scott waiting for Kip. He's so nervous and is overthinking everything, so much so that he can't seem to stand still. He's so obviously scared but is pushing through to be there for Kip and let himself have this one real thing.
Scott, how forward of you.
"Do you want the full tour now or-" "Or. I pick or."
Well they certainly both know what they want.
"Can you stay?" "Yeah." "Then stay please."
Ughh he just wants someone to know him. And stay. To know him truly and stay.
Oh sweet Kip. He still thinks that the thing Scott cares about having in his pregame routine is the smoothie. Right, sure. That's what he wants to see before a game. Definitely not the hot gay guy with an eight pack. Ok
This show loves to have tiny childhood photos in the background of random shots. The three we can see here a great. Blurry baby Scott looks very cute.
See now this just pisses me off. These smoothies look great. Why the fuck do the ones Kip makes at work look like shit? Is Straw+berry making their employees make shit smoothies? What the hell? Kip is lucky he's cute cause Scott certainly wasn't coming back for the smoothies.
"I just thought I would ... wait I guess. Wait till hockey was over. Then maybe I could fade away better ... I want you so bad ... So I'm asking for what I want."
This is just so... Ahhh. He didn't think he could have this and also have hockey. He couldn't be Scott Who's Good At Hockey and also be Scott Who's Gay. They can't exist together. Until he got to the point that he couldn't push it down anymore and now he can't be one without the other. The stability that Kip gives him allows him to be stable on the ice as well. It allows him to keep up his reputation and keep up the life he loves. But the life he loves is also what stands between him and the person he loves.
He can't have one without the other but he also can't have both. So what does that mean? What does that make Scott?
He's so used to his big lonely house and his big lonely life. He's just so happy Kip is still there.
"Oh my god guys he's a customer. He's not my boyfriend."
Ok I know they have to keep it a secret but he can't even tell his friends??? Like come on I think they're allowed to know.
This is the closest he's got to looking like Steve Rogers. This Marvel ass disguise. You're not fooling anyone girl.
This show is truly a love story to men who are scared to be seen.
Ok yeah this is cute. WHATEVER.
For some reason this feels like a parallel to the scene in the café, when Kip crosses that line between maybe gay to definitely gay and makes what their doing real. Sure, Scott's pregame routine included Kip, but now Scott's taking something from Kip into the game with him. He's making it real. This integral connection between Scott Who's Good At Hockey and Scott Who's Gay is becoming so strong that they're merging into one.
Like I said, Elena knows all. I love how the only thing she cares about is making sure Kip gets everything he deserves. Like, great he's really hot and nice, but is he everything you deserve?
I think this moment for Kip, is him realising that he wants this just as bad as Scott does. But does that mean he's willing to go back to having a big secret looming over him until... When? Until Scott retires? When even is that? Is he ok with doing that? Can he do that?
I really, really appreciate Elena and everything she says in this scene. She knows Kip can't live like this. She knows he will do it, but that he won't be able to live like that forever. I also love how she makes it clear that she wants them both to be happy.
Oh this scene is just so sad. It's not fair. All Scott wants is to love and be loved, openly, and he feels like he can't even have that without losing the life he loves. He just wants to stop feeling lonely all the time.
Oh my baby boy Kip.
And here he is all alone again.
And we're back at the socks. What a lovely metaphor. It's not like he threw the socks out or they just got lost and stopped existing. He's still taking that part of Kip with him into the game. They're still there, he's just hiding them under the protective layers he's put on top to keep them safe. But he still knows they're there, where no one else can see them.
